More Recovery Updates

First off I want to thank Mandy tonight for the wonderful gift I received by delivery yesterday. I was pleasantly surprised by a guy with a basket of not flowers, but cookies. A representation of what I received is below, they are so cute.



The best part of all is that they taste AMAZING. I would be hard pressed to say that I have ever had a better cookie. They are simply delicious. So here is a public "Thank You" for the wonderful gift, I loved it and the people I shared it with loved it as well

Next I need to talk about the issue of my walker. Robin has been so gracious as to name my walker Herbert. Why Herbert? I have to reply I have no idea ask her. She also adorned my poor walker with a horn, a Muppet Baby Gonzo (which is SUPER cool), and a basket. Now this basket is not your normal bicycle basket, it is more of an Easter basket, handle intact. Quite the number was done on poor Herbert, I also find it odd at the great amount of joy that Robin receives from watching me hobble around with my walker. Some might say it is a bit disturbing to answer the door only to find Robin doubled over in laughter as she just watched me drag my broken self to the door. I have always enjoyed the company of Lillian and Robin, but there is something about having a serious injury that makes seeing their shining faces all the better. I can't do much, in fact I hate having people wait on me, especially my friends. This is a very BIG humbling experience, it takes all I have to not jump up and get someone anything they want. Thanks for stopping by tonight ladies, the company is appreciated more than you know, even if it results in a basket being tied to my walker.

Another Addiction

There is this show out there in tv land called Law and Order: SVU, while I have never been one to watch too many shows on TV on a regular basis this show has me hooked. Lillian, who you have read about many times before, is the one who first turned me on to this show. While it can be disturbing at times, it is a show that has a huge impact.

I am also not one to get too wrapped up in the stories of shows,and perhaps it is the graphic and mentally disturbing issues dealt with on the show that I have a hard time leaving my emotion at the door, but this program draws me in every time. Chalk it up to good writing, excellent acting, or just good show production I don't care, I find it amazing that I look forward to watching it every time I have a chance.

More proof that I am addicted to this show is that I have now identified with one of the characters. You have no idea how rare and unusual this is for me, it feels kinda weird. The character is Detective John Munch. I did not even like this guy for a long time and he started to grow on me, and then an episode I saw last week while my foot was all mangled and I had nothing else to do really changed my view on him and I saw big similarities between him and I. It is the episode where the whole team is getting their bi-yearly psych evaluations. Det. Munch doesn't like to talk about his personal life at all and makes jokes to get around doing it at all costs. I don't know if I make jokes to get around it, but I certainly avoid all topics of a personal nature. That is a no talkie zone. So Munch then tells the doctor to tell him what she thinks he is like. Here is where it got a little creepy, like they were looking into my life; she told him that he believed in "true love" but the idea that he would never find it was an unbearable burden. When he agreed with her, I was in front of my tube screaming "me too me too". Ahh the frustrations of knowing true love exists but having that knowledge only from observation.

So ends my documentation of this new found addiction in my life, but I guess it could be worse, right? Oh and on a final note I have discovered that DuckTales and Rescue Rangers come on everyday at 11:30 and noon respectively, this is a definite pick me up to my daily routine as of right now. Eat your hearts out you healthy people you.

Who has the best friends in the whole world?

The wonderful people at Crosswalk have returned from their mission trip to New York City and New Jersey. The reports are amazing and there is such a buzz about the group, it makes it fun just to be around them. I got a wonderful visit today from about 15 of the people that went on the trip. I don't know that I can express in words what it meant to me for my friends to drive all the way out to my house just to see me and to see how I am doing. I really cannot thank you enough for coming out here, it really made my week.

These friends brought along a couple of things with them, one being what I think is the largest card I have ever seen. I mean it is huge, I think it is even big enough for me to hide behind, if that gives you any idea. This card was filled with encouraging words and heart felt messages, it was a serious pick me up to say the least. Then if that wasn't enough Justin's mom made brownies, Paul and Amberly brought fun gifts, and Lillian brought me a t-shirt and one awesome hat. Not to mention that Lillian then went out and bought me dinner, what a winner, I don't think any one can hold a candle to her in the contest for the best friend ever.

The whole time my friends were gone, there were many phone calls made to me, EVERYDAY. Thank goodness for upgraded cell phone plans. The calls were a great encouragement to me, through this whole process I have not felt depressed even once. I have been sad that I missed the trip, and that I missed my friends, but at no point was there a time I reached a place of no hope. This is good news to those of you who keep up on reading my blog. Depression has been the word of the day for some time and one would think this would only fuel the fire; nothing could be further from the truth. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel even now, and I can see brighter days ahead. Sure this is not the best time I have ever had in my life, but the circumstances could let it be one of the worst, and God has been my strength and He said "NO".

So when I ask "Who has the best friends in the whole world?" the only answer I can come up with at this point is ME!! And I thank God for them and their willingness to help a fallen brother.

Funny quote in reference to reading my blog

Deauna: just wish I had a computer in my bathroom ;-)
Jimmy: oh dear
Jimmy: too much info
Deauna: I really like reading in my bathroom

The Mission Trip Question

What was your favorite part of the Crosswalk Mission Trip to NYC?
Put your responses in the comments

The Follow-Up Visit

So off I go to the doctor's office today, and who has to take me? My granny, I love her dearly but she refuses to drive the highway. Off we go in the big Buick to the hospital (that is where his office is at), and a drive that would take me 20 minutes on the highway took nearly an hour on surface streets. Don't get me wrong I am thankful for my granny taking me to the doctor's and all but sitting up like that for an hour almost killed me. We arrived safely and there are few weirder feelings than having your elderly grandmother drop you off at the door and park the car cause you can't make the walk.

We meet back up inside the door the Buick tucked safely away in the parking garage. I cannot imagine what would posses a person to put an orthopedic office so far from the elevator. My walker and I had a good ol time walking the 60 yards to his office, did it in 15 minutes flat. (keep your Speedy Gonzales jokes to yourself) There is lots of insurance confusion at the doctor's office and I hope to get that straightened out tomorrow. Overall, the visit went well; I spent way too much time alone in the office, I began to sing weird songs to my foot about how ugly it is. That is all I have to say about that. I got a new cast and the doctor said my wound was healing just right. This always makes me feel better.

The rest of today I have spent in the bed, all the walking I did to his office and back wore me out. I hope tomorrow will prove to be a restful day and I can enjoy every moment of it, by the way my new cast is light and small so it makes it much easier to get around YIPPEE. Thanks everyone for praying for me, please pray for our mission teams as they ready for the return trip, and I know one is flying back tomorrow pray for her specifically. I love to hear from you so drop me a line, an e-mail, a comment, or something

The Story of THE ACCIDENT

ok so it is a sleepless night for me and I have decided to recount the events of Friday March 19th.

We will start in the morning, I had gotten up on time for a change cause I was out to my mom's house in order to move a chair I had promised I would move for her the day prior but did not have a chance. Upon arriving I quickly get to work and gather a few things for the mission trip that left the following morning (the one I have been talking about and stressed out about), and had finally gotten to the last thing: the removal of this chair. Now understand this, this is not a large La-Z-Boy chair, nor an overstuffed wingback; rather this is a Homemedics therapeutic chair with massage and heat. This is a very nice chair, and it only weighs say 40-50 pounds (well within my lifting limit). I was carrying this chair down the steps and as I neared the bottom is when everything went wrong.

The events happened so fast it is hard to say what happened and in what order, but I do know I missed the next to last step in some way shape or form. This resulted in me sliding down the remaining steps, somewhere in there I know my foot/ankle popped. There was lots of pain but I did not understand the seriousness of my injury my eyes followed the line of my leg down to my foot, which was pointing 90 degrees to the right of where it is supposed to point.

God Bless cell phones. I was in my mom's old house remember, there were no phones, or even active phone lines for that matter. Had I not had my cell phone there is no telling what would have happened. I started to go into shock immediately from the mere sight of an appendage of my body doing something it shouldn't be doing. I gather myself and call 911 on my blessed cell phone. After I am forced to calm myself down in order for the operator to understand me, I relay all the information to her so that she can send the proper medical teams out. Andy Weems happens to call me almost immediately after I hang up, and so I tell him what has happened. I tell him "I am at my house" and he properly interprets it as the place I am currently living. I was too far out of my head to realize any other interpretations to what I said and Andy goes into fix it mode. I don't know what he thought he could do beyond that the paramedics could but I am flattered that he did try. I call my mom after I talk to Andy. I then get something like 12 calls on my cell phone between calling my mom and actually getting to the hospital. I did not answer any of them, I was far from being in the mood.

I am given all kinds of morphine in the ambulance and upon arriving at the hospital, and none of this is even numbing the pain. My sister to my surprise arrives at the hospital only minutes after I get into the Emergency Room. (Yay for her and Boo to her boss that made her take a half day vacation to do it) I have to go through x-rays and waiting on doctors with no relief for my pain, I even believe that the pain was getting worse. The doctors look at my x-rays and find that I have fractured my leg in 5 places, dislocated my ankle, as well as break it.

Finally, the man with the plan walks in, they are going to put me under conscious sedation in order to pop my ankle back into place. For some reason he decides he is going to do it right now, and not tell anyone else he is doing it. He simply grabs my toe and starts twisting my foot. I cannot even begin to describe the immense amounts of pain putting my ankle back into place cause me, I would even venture to say more than getting it out of place. Having those bones rub against one another and slide past the previous one and being able to feel each one is just so unbelievable. I have felt pain before, but this was a whole new game cause of the visual of it and the feeling of those bones grinding against one another. Now my foot is back to pointing forward, and 80% of the pain is gone too. My foot still hurts at this point but I am not writhing anymore.

I find out that surgery is being planned for me that same day, it seemed kind of sudden to me, but the other option was the following Wednesday and that is just no good. There were lots of people who came to visit me, and thank you very much for that I really do appreciate it. Surgery was actually real easy, and was actually shorter than the surgeon expected. I now have, from my understanding, at least one plate in my foot and couple of screws, one larger one to keep my ankle from moving from side to side. The larger one has to be removed in a later surgery.

They keep me overnight for observation. Everything is going wonderfully (more people came to visit that night and the following morning..yay for them too) and I have to try getting around the hospital on crutches. The crutches and I did not get along, they require too much balance and I felt like I was going to fall over at any moment. Since that was not an option, I get to take a less dignified form of transportation; a walker. Yes that's right I have my very own walker, as if people needed more ammo for old man jokes. I could have sworn it had a sticker on it that said "As Seen In Nursing Homes". I am joking of course, it has actually worked out to be pretty good for me, it requires less balance, and lots of upper body strength; both of which I have.

I am back at my mom's new house now recovering which may take as long as 8-12 weeks. I was startled by that number at first and still am. There have been so many thoughts running through my mind, I will have to blog about them later. As for now, I have a doctor's appointment in the afternoon, I really want him to have good news for me, in at least everything is going to plan and looks good. I am a bit afraid; this will be my first big outing out of the house since I got here on Saturday. There will be lots of walking/hobbling on this trip, more than maybe I have done all week, and it can be exhausting. But I will also get to look at my leg for the first time and get a new dressing on my wound, and that makes me happy. I have been blessed by the outpouring of support I have received from my friends. Some of you will be proud that I did not vomit nor cry a single tear during this whole incident, and even my sister cried when she walked in and saw my foot doing it's candy cane impression. I also have to admit I have cried a lot at missing this mission trip, it makes me so sad to think that I missed it. My friends out there on the field have been wonderful to keep me updated and to call me to keep my spirits up, gosh I love you guys. You have no idea how much it kills me to not go on that trip with you.

Now that I have typed all this, I am really hoping that it all makes sense to someone other than me. Boy is this sucker long too, well I needed to have a long one for this month. Thanks to everyone again, and please pray for me.

I need to post about "The Accident" but I just have a hard time typing while laying in bed...maybe I will feel up to it tomorrow after I get a shower with a garbage bag secured around my leg with duct tape. You never know!!

What a weekend. I am so thankful to the Dills' for letting me house sit this weekend. While it was not the quiet alone time I had wanted or expected, but I don't think I missed it too much. Such wonderful people as Lillian decide to invite themselves over to the place I am house sitting at (while I act angry, I was really glad to see her and her posse). There was much cooking (I really like to cook) and watching of movies. This combination also equals late hours as well as fun. Saturday was full of nearly the same, in fact by my calculations Lillian spent more time at the house than I did. Really that is ok, if I have to spend lots of time with someone it might as well be someone I really enjoy like Lillian. She is probably the best friend I have right now, she is just a spectacular person who is so patient and loving and did I mention she is a wonderful actress as well.

Enough of that. This is the week leading up to the big Spring Break Mission Trip for Crosswalk. I am so stressed, and I don't stress about stuff. There is so much responsibility and so much riding on my shoulders, and I know how capable I am of failure. I would hate to let people down, it is a lot more pressure than I ever thought it would be. Plans are going well, everything is going smoothly, but the real test comes when you get there and actually get to put it in action. My most awesome of teams will be stationed in New Jersey and thanks to the wonderfully talented Robin New Jersey will never be viewed the same. I must admit though while we will not be in the heart of the Big Apple I am excited as to what God can do with a willing heart, and I could not have asked for a better team of those. I feel confident that God, through us, will change New Jersey forever, not to mention us as well.

Ok, so today is a day I have not been looking forward to for a long time. Many people don't know but today is the one year anniversary of my daddy's passing. I am having a hard time realizing it has already been a year. I still really miss him, he liked to hear about all the stuff I was doing and there has been so much going on in my life that I would have loved to tell him about. The really sad depressed part of me is a bit jealous that he gets to be with Jesus before I do, but the thankful happy side of me is glad that I am here to finish the work set before me. I know I will have a chance to tell him all about my crazy misadventures someday, so I am satisfied for now.

My daddy's passing was such a surprise, beyond all comprehension. He was in the best health of his life, but a pastor friend of mine explained it to me like this and it put my heart to ease. A man was on his deathbed, when a pastor was called in to pray over him so that he might have a miraculous recovery and be well again. The pastor went in to pray, and when he bowed his head God would not let him pray for this man's health. Rather God spoke to this pastor saying.

This man was close to Me when he was young, and he strayed far from me when he grew older, and most recently he has come close again. So I am going to take him home to be with Me while I have such a close relationship with him.

This is much the way I see my dad's passing, my dad was raised in a Christian home and was very active in his church. In his teenage and into his adulthood he had grown far from God. A few years ago I can still remember getting the call my mom telling me that she had been saved and my dad was rededicate his life. Just thinking about it now bring me such joy. I think God took my dad home to be with Him in heaven, because He knew my dad was walking close to Him. God did not want my dad to suffer through the continuing loss of his sight, or take the chance that my dad might stray from Him again. So while I miss my dad very much, but I know that he missed much suffering and was ready to go when he did. I know without a doubt in my mind that my daddy was saved, and I will meet him again in heaven.

So while this day is a sad one, it is also a victorious one, and I do not weep as those without any hope, I KNOW I will meet my daddy again.

A strange but oddly funny page I found

Well today has been another blah day, but I must admit there have been some interesting things happen today. I got a call back from the guy I mentioned before about moving in with him, and I am going to check it out here in a little bit. Also, as a big surprise the Dills' have offered me a room a their house until the end of my term. What an amazing family that is, it really does help me to feel loved. I am also getting to house sit for them this weekend, so it will be nice to have some peace and quiet and privacy for a change. YAY for the Dills!!! The situation has not changed where I live, still feeling the "Get out NOW" vibe. I avoid the house at all costs, I am only there to sleep.

My church has asked me to pray about being a major leader our 40 days of Purpose campaign. It is good to know they still love and trust me and see me as a fit leader.

funny quote:
Paul "did you know Camry means crown?"
Abby "so Camry is spanish for crown?"
Paul "No Abby, they make Camrys in Japan, so it is Japanese for crown"

Since I am in a time of despair right now concerning my life in general, I thought I would write about something I love. I love the Muppets. I find great joy in watching them and their type of humor as cheesy as it might be. Right now my favorite would have to be Pepe the Prawn. I just love him, he is so funny. (watch Muppets from Space if you need convincing). I have the Time Life Series as well as all the movies except Muppet Treasure Island. It is just something happy I can post about instead of all this depressing real life stuff.

Wow, when I got home today from Columbus where some friends of mine were trying out to be on the drama team, Six Steps, (Go ROBIN AND JOSH) there was a definite sense of "you haven't left yet?" I know the Henderson's have been more than gracious to open up their home to me, but it seems that the reason they are asking me to leave does not seem truthful. I feel like a mooch staying at someone's house already, so I do my best to make myself as little a burden on them as possible. To the best of my knowledge I don't pay for electricity or hot water for showers, but I take care of the ret of my needs; everything right down to toilet paper. This leads me to believe there is something more to the "We need the empty room in case my parents return" reasoning for making me move out. Do I stink? I try not to spend too much time there so as not to disturb their normal everyday family life. I just don't get it. I want to scream at them "WHAT IS THE REAL PROBLEM?!?!?" But since I feel like a mooch as said before I cannot bring myself to do it.

So I really want out, like NOW, but I have no where to go. I have called about one place already, with no word from him yet. I think there is at least one more spot I can check into, but from what I have heard it is not the most desirable place to stay. I just feel really unwanted. For a probably related reason I am in a big "push everyone away" phase right now. I know it is unhealthy, but none the less I do it. It tends to be a defense mechanism for me. I don't know what I am defending against, maybe just the fear that something is coming soon. I really don't know.

Oh well anyway, church in the morning. I have to return to the place that now hates me to get a good nights sleep tonight for a LONG day tomorrow.

So what would my life be like without some silly drama? Normal and boring I guess, but at this point I am not so sure that is a bad thing. One of the benefits, if you can call it that, of being a missionary is that you get to live for free under someone else's roof. After my mom kicked me out, the Henderson's took me in, well I found out today that I have to once again move. I guess it isn't a HUGE deal, but it really does nothing for a person's ability to feel loved and wanted. I feel like someone that no one wants so I am just passed around form place to place. I feel homeless. I feel like I could jump on a train car tomorrow, and besides the empty desk and the unfinished work most people would not know I am gone. I am not crazy about moving, there are places for me to look at immediately so I am not concerned about finding somewhere to live. I was just starting to feel comfortable there, and now I have to uproot myself again and move to another temporary residence.

But it is a beautiful day (kinda windy) warm and sunny, what a wonderful way to start off the Spring

I have to tell you I have been having a great week, so many things seem to be falling into place on many different levels. I am blessed beyond belief. The demons that haunt me have run back to their dark holes for now, and I hope for a long time to come. I wish I had more to write. Funny how I can't seem to shut up when stuff is going bad, but when stuff is going more than wonderful I am at a loss for words. But know that the cloud has been lifted, to God be the glory.

In other news, if you hear any rumors that I like cats please tell me cause they are all lies :P

Power Rangers Movie!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla


post your results in the Comments
this is too funny to pass up....trying to imagine myself in a Power Rangers movie is real hard

I did not realize on my posting about my friends that it seemed like I was pointing fingers at people and saying they only liked me cause of things I do for them or because I am in charge, etc. I was merely listing things I have been liked for in the past and currently and had no one person in mind for any of them. In fact, the people who seemed to be upset the most about this post are the people I find the least fault when it comes to being my friend. People who were my friend when I was a total jerk to them. That is why I am posting this now to let them know that I love them, and have no problems with our friendship and please forgive me for any mix up there might have been, I am a total idiot when it comes to saying how I feel.

Last night was such a wonderful night, I got so much sleep. I went to bed at 7 with the intention of getting up at 9 to do laundry. Well my alarm went off and I did not hear it so I slept till 9 this morning. That's right 14 beautiful hours of sleep, I had forgotten I was even capable of such things. I feel well rested today, and overall it has been a pretty good day overall.

Lots of planning for the mission trip to New York City today, and I must admit I am getting excited about it. Not because I get to see NYC again, but because I get to see all these young people go to New York and have their lives changed by God. I am so excited to see students stretched beyond their known limits, to experience things they never had before. Well that is all that is going on in my boring life as of right now, course there isn't much time for excitement when you sleep 14 hours in a night, but anyway.....Later.

just as an update to you all....I did not go to the party.