Wow, when I got home today from Columbus where some friends of mine were trying out to be on the drama team, Six Steps, (Go ROBIN AND JOSH) there was a definite sense of "you haven't left yet?" I know the Henderson's have been more than gracious to open up their home to me, but it seems that the reason they are asking me to leave does not seem truthful. I feel like a mooch staying at someone's house already, so I do my best to make myself as little a burden on them as possible. To the best of my knowledge I don't pay for electricity or hot water for showers, but I take care of the ret of my needs; everything right down to toilet paper. This leads me to believe there is something more to the "We need the empty room in case my parents return" reasoning for making me move out. Do I stink? I try not to spend too much time there so as not to disturb their normal everyday family life. I just don't get it. I want to scream at them "WHAT IS THE REAL PROBLEM?!?!?" But since I feel like a mooch as said before I cannot bring myself to do it.

So I really want out, like NOW, but I have no where to go. I have called about one place already, with no word from him yet. I think there is at least one more spot I can check into, but from what I have heard it is not the most desirable place to stay. I just feel really unwanted. For a probably related reason I am in a big "push everyone away" phase right now. I know it is unhealthy, but none the less I do it. It tends to be a defense mechanism for me. I don't know what I am defending against, maybe just the fear that something is coming soon. I really don't know.

Oh well anyway, church in the morning. I have to return to the place that now hates me to get a good nights sleep tonight for a LONG day tomorrow.