An old topic revisited...again

Every so often this feeling just hits me. This feeling that I am just so alone, and that my future holds nothing different. Is it so wrong to want to find another person you are perfectly matched for and want to spend the rest of your life with? Granted I realize that if it occupied my every thought that would be dangerous and unhealthy, but lucky me I am far too busy for such thoughts to enter my head on such a regular basis. Since I have this long weekend off and more free time than I have had in recent memory these little thoughts and the related sadness have crept back into my noggin. I just want to find the one person I can spend the rest of my life with. I also realize that many of the people who read this are much younger than I, are in relationships, or even married, I say this cause people tend to get on my back about writing about topics like this and I just don't think my position is fully understood. I have not had a girlfriend in 5 years, I have not been on a date in 4 years, and I really cannot remember the last time a girl showed ANY interest in me. If I was 21 and was talking like this it would be a totally different story, but the fact is I am almost 30 and cannot even imagine what it is like to have a girl me anymore, the memory is just that far removed. I do know that I miss it, I forget what it feels like but I know I want to feel it again. Life is in a repetitive pattern right now, and I don't know if I see any sign of relief to come any time soon. Maybe that is part of my fear, that I have already experienced life and everything now is just a repeat of a day before it, and this is one thing I can think of that would change all that and make every day new and exciting. Having the adventure of discovering someone new, how to make them happy, talking about dreams and how you can achieve them together, and holding one another with a simple contentment in your heart. Oh well, guess that is enough of my pathetic life for now. Besides these unshakable thoughts I have really had a good weekend, I guess you appreciate them more when you have to work 50+ hours in a week.