Ok so I am bored sitting here at work, with a less than normal amount of work. After talking to one of my friends who stirred up lots of thoughts in my depressed head, I thought I would post again. Right now for some reason I am feeling as if I have missed my chance. When you ask what chance is that I would have to respond, my chance to find that special girl. As of late I have felt this more and more. I feel like I had a wonderful girlfriend, and God had brought us together. I feel like I was the one who screwed it up (it is part of why I feel like a failure). I really loved her, but since I am an idiot and don't know how to treat women correctly I lost my chance at a future with a girl. I realize how stupid it probably sounds, but you have to understand I have not dated much in my many years. She was my first and only real relationship with a girl I have ever had. I thought at the time it was just the icebreaker and that I would have a much easier time relating with girls after that. I was wrong. Since then, I have only been out with 2 other girls (only one date a piece) and there are no prospects in my general vicinity as of right now. So I feel like I was not created to live a life of singleness, but through my own stupidity and sin it is the life I have been left with. Again I know it sounds stupid and am sure this is full of theological problems, but this is not a theological discussion it is a discussion on how I feel.

so yea for feeling even more like a failure in a day