You Know You Are A Cripple When....

• Bathroom trips take 15 minutes, and 12 of that is spent in transit
  
• Your mom has to make your bed for you (that happened today)
  
• You have to have your meals brought to you everyday
  
• You thank God for elastic waistbands
  
• Clean socks last twice as long since you only wear one at a time
  
• You become comfortable again with your mom doing your laundry (all of it)
  
• You plan out your trips in the house in order to make as few steps as necessary, and remain sitting for as long as possible
  
• You don't drink caffeine because of the previously mentioned bathroom visits
  
• Showers are now the highlight of your day
  
• People (Robin) laugh at you when you come in on a walker
  
• You cannot escape conversations with people you don't like
  
• You find out that the velcro on your boot sticks to carpet, almost catastrophic trust me
  
• Going to work starts to sound good
  
• Visits from friends mean more than they used to
  
• The hardware in your leg is worth more than all your other possessions combined (or maybe that just means you are a missionary)
  
• Your once innocent and pure walker is kidnapped, vandalized and defiled, while you can do nothing about it
  
• Your new nickname is "Hop-Along"
  
• You have to humble yourself enough to let your friends do things for you (I really don't like this one)
  
• You realize who really loves you, when they are so very willing to help you out every day
  
• You learn to make HTML bulleted lists for something like this